Taking no prisoners. Including herself.

I am curious about stuff.

(This page is continuously being updated / evolving… as is everything)

No, really, you ask. Why the hell are you doing all this?

I like to ask questions.

What are my fears, and how do they help me? Hinder me? Define me?                               All answers reside within. But what about…?
What is trust — of another? of myself? of God? of Life, the Universe, Sanity, Safety?
When do I become less interested in the questions then the answers?
What is unconditional love? Have I ever really felt it?
Can I be in love with 2 different people at the same time? 3? 4?
Is loving easily a sign of being open hearted, or, just… “open”?
Why do I have so much shame? Damn you, Puritan heritage!
How fearless am I reeeealllly?
How much up is normal up and how much down — normal down?
How patient do I have to be to get to off-Broadway?
How about Oakland?
Fear, or laziness?
How “real” are hormones? Just because I’m starting to tear up at puppy chow commercials doesn’t mean my biological clock is starting to tick, does it? …Does it?!?
Is America “dead”?
China, Vietnam, Spain, NY, SF or… Penngrove?
Do you have to try new things to learn new lessons, or is enlightenment spontaneous?
Why NOT wear Muu-Muus?
What are the implications of Web 2.0 technologies on relationships?
Do I really want peace of mind or am I just faking it?
How much money is my bitching worth? My time? My contentment?
Can a life-long mac girl be converted to Gmail? Will it take a boy, logic, or bribery to do it?
Is the universe inherently unfair or refreshingly non-partisan?
Are we given only the amount of difficulty we know we can handle? If so, will God be convinced if I play dumb?
Why don’t we learn patience for good; shouldn’t that be the definition of patient?
If I move to Vietnam, is the pollution worth the cheap phơ?
Is love destined or do we just get bored of trying on possibilities and eventually just pick someone?
Can enlightenment be achieved through hot-tubbing?
When most of the world lives three generations to a household, why it is the US has decided it’s wrong for famililies to live together?
Will I ever get laid again if I’m 26 and living with my parents?
If two wrongs don’t make a right, do two sedatives not make a writer?
Do people really hate poetry? Will I lose all (3 of) my readers if I write nothing but for a stint?
At what point is it irresponsible to be self-sufficient?
Are symbolic actions inherently philosophical in nature? Do they have to be?
How often should I replace my toothbrush?
If I live a western lifestyle is it hypocritical to not embrace western medicine?
This whole notion of sanity: defined or rather tenuous?
Is there any difference between me and the nuts-o cases down the block? Could I end up there, were it not for my job-secured health insurance?
Speaking of HMOs, is there anyone out there that doesn’t think the Kaiser Thrive campaign is great?
Where the hell does one find Snow White paper plates?
Which is the least popular of all the Disney princesses?
How do you know when you know?
When you trust how you feel and then change your mind, is that called self-betrayal? Then what the hell is “being honest with oneself?
How long is long, and if everything is relative, at what point do we call time “enough time”?
I want more world! What happens when I don’t travel for a year and then travel non-stop for a month?
What is SE Asia like?
How many days in a row can I wear silk?
How do I go about travel writing? Should I traveling first, writing second?
Is my backyard as equally as strange as a foreign country half-way around the world?
What does “3rd World” mean nowadays?
What would happen if I photographed forgotten parts of the city and compared them with cared for parts of another? Would you be able to tell the difference between San Francisco and Cambodia? India and New York? Hollister and Bangkok?
Will my job even miss me if I disappear for two weeks? How will my priorities change upon my return? Is it possible to buy brown Covergirl™ mascara in Vietnam?
What’s the best way to travel? Drink in a single city whole or zip from place to place?
When is this God damn rain ever going to stop? Do I really want it to?
What happens when you get a bunch of creative people in the same room and go at it?
Is momentum easier in the plural or in the singular?
Am I full of bullshit and enthusiasm?
I’m curious about the current state of feminism.
The pill gave women a particular sense of control over her reproductive destiny. In what ways do we continue to seek out control?
How do we define our sense of destiny today?
What does the pill have to do with online dating?
Are they both, perhaps, methods by which we assert control over our lives?
Maybe we’re no longer willing to leave anything to chance.
Drugs allow us to control our states of being, our health, when we have children; online dating allows us to define precisely who we’re looking for. “If you do not meet these qualifications, you need not apply.”
Have we grown tired and impatient with the notion of destiny?
Does any of this newfound control make us any happier?
I find “dating” a facinating cultural practice.
I am curious about online dating and in the fact that it’s becoming so ubiquitous.
I wonder at how online dating differs from other, more traditional, forms of dating.
Aren’t we all looking for the same thing, the mediums just keep changing?
I wonder whether I can go on 20 dates with 20 different people –perfect strangers whom I’ve never met, never seen, and know nothing about aside from an email address– and whether I can find something in common with each and every one of them.
I am fascinated by people.
I moved across town to the Tenderloin.
I wonder at how and why people turn to prostitution–those who are prostitutes as well as those who visit them.
I wonder at what it’s like to be a transvestite prostitute, and how it’s different than a “single gendered” one.
I wonder what the going rate is.
I wonder how they feel about the Johns.
What are they psychological implications of prostitution?
Am I projecting my own ideals of human similarity upon them when I think they’re after more than sex?
I think there is a particular sense of immediacy in my generation: we want everything full volume, we want everything now, are used to everything being instant, and expect a certain amount of control in/over our lives.
How does this manifest into different areas into our lives?
How does technology foster this?
Are we done with chance?

I’m not sure, either. That’s why I’m here.

§29 · By · December 1, 2005 ·


1 Comment to “Curious about stuff.”

  1. Kate says:

    I wonder when …and how…….and of course, WHY????? Mostly I wonder about all the parallell and vertical and horizontal dimensions happening NOW that I am unaware of…and will I ever be allowed to dwell in the world of more than 3 or 4 ???? is there something I could DO to accelerate my ascent, descent or sideways travel into ELSEWHERE???? Is this ache in my neck cause some guy in the X dimension has got me in a choke hold and is tryin to wake me up…or is it just the too tall pillow I slept on last night???? I wonder too…ALOT:)

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