[Scene: A country house that sits in an idyllic setting. Shannon, a woman in her mid-twenties, rises from her slumbers. She stretches with smile upon her cherub face, Edvard Grieg's "Morning" playing in her head. She places her palms against the windowsill and gazes at the redwood trees beyond. There are small birds perched in the branches, singing.]
Shannon: Good morning, my fine feathered friends!
[She slides her sleepy toes into her slippers, wraps her happy body with a robe and tip toes down stairs. Her parents, Kathryn and David and sitting at the table.]
Shannon: Why, hello, mother; hello, father.
Kathryn & David [in unison]: Hello, dearest daughter.
Shannon: What a glorious morning this day hath brought to us.
Kathryn & David: This day is glorious, verily. What doth this day bring for you, oh sweet daughter of ours?
Shannon: Well, oh kind and unceasingly generous parents of mine, I did have it in mind that upon this most beauteous morn of the first Monday of 2007 I would awaken with the birds and, after watching the frost melt off the fingers of the redwoods and listen to the sheep begin to nibble upon the green backsides of the hills that stretch like the expanses of my dreams — all while sitting in the rejuvenating comfort of the hot tub — I would make myself a pot of green tea and write a “Welcome to 2007!” post to Not Keeping Score. This, my dearest of dear parents, would truly ring in the new year proper, for although I have resolved to make no resolutions, and am trying to be contented with my life “As Is” (no trip to the gym, the therapist’s office, or The Container Store necessary) old habits die hard and this one here [Shannon points to herself enthusiastically] likes to feel the thrill of pro-ac-tivity. You can take the girl out of the city, but you can’t take the city out of the girl…
[Shannon kisses each of her parents on the forehead and begins to walk away. David and Kathryn exchange glances.]
Kathryn: Shannon dearest?
Shannon: Yes, mother, Oh Light of my Life?
Kathryn: Darling daughter, your father and I commend you on your ambitious plans for the day. It is truly honorable that you should, despite being unemployed and with absolutely no life plan whatsoever of which to speak, you have so asserted yourself as to, in one single day, plan to take a dip in the hot tub, make yourself green tea, gaze at the countryside,
David: — and it’s nearly noon.
Kathryn: –but we wish you all the luck in your endeavor.
[Shannon takes pause. A shadow of confusion washes over her face as she processes this information. Suddenly, her brow furrows and she looks pained. Suddenly, in a huff she stomps up stairs and turns up Yo-Yo Ma to an obscene volume. A moment later she returns to the hallway and yells downstairs.
Shannon: Oh yeah? Well, let's see who's a banana slug now! Just to prove how motivated I am, I'm going to read my entire e.e. cummings collection! And not just the smaller anthologies -- my whole collection! And then I might even write a poem of my own! What do you have to say about that, huh? Who's unemployed now, eh? Eh?!
[David and Kathryn look at each other, smile, and shrug their shoulders, magnanimous in their silence]
[for M&D, who truly are magnanimous]