Taking no prisoners. Including herself.

Drinking a cup of tea and thinking of warm days in Vietnam, I find something I wrote while there:

“I start to think of home. I imagine how things are going to be different once I return, what exciting new changes I’ll make in my life, how thrilling it will be to tell others of my travels. Then last night I had a dream I was in SF, walking to work while daydreaming of being in Vietnam. It felt shitty; I was ever dreaming of where I wasn’t. I woke up to find myself still in Vietnam — it was like teleportation! — but I wonder: will this dream make a difference? Do I wake up now to find myself exactly where I want to be?”

That damn grass is always greener…

It’s a lot like love, I suppose: We dream of a perfect jacket — that comfort of a snug fit — but then find it too ill-fitting, so we wriggle free into a closet-full of clothes, only to realize that jacket was the only thing ever worth wearing.

Or something like that.

And so it is with our old pal Life. We are all constantly striving to better our circumstance — earn that more respectable degree, find that more satisfying job, live in that more exciting place — when in the struggle to grasp what’s new we forget that what we have already in our clutches isn’t so bad after all.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you’re thinking, I know this already. But my question to you is: does that knowing make a difference?

§202 · June 12, 2006 · JetSet · · [Print]

2 Comments to “That Alluring Green”

  1. Esor Ayor says:

    it has for me recently. I have been finding that letting myself be content with who and where I am has motivated me to succeed. The way I see it, if I am able to maintain happiness where I am now, my future will be brighter based on my contentment. A person that isnt happy now isnt going to all of a sudden find their happy spot because they got a better job. Their outlook on work in general must first change. Getting a degree doesnt make you successful, the work you did to get there doesnt make you successful….but believing the experience you gained is bringing you closer to your goal will make you happier, more confident, and that joy and confidence WILL aid you in your quest for success….funny, a’int it?

  2. Ian says:

    I don’t think knowing that fact makes a lick of differnece. That type of knowledge doesn’t become useful until it’s been kicking your ass for at least 20 years.

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