Taking no prisoners. Including herself.

Ooh. Those great foam rollers everyone loves. The ones you crawl around on to stretch out the muscles. The perfect self-massage. I do a solid 30 minutes before bed. Ah, now I’ll really be able to sleep.

Or not. I wake up the next morning with a kind of pain that is otherworldly – strange electrical pulsings of energy running down my leg and up through my back, my chest, and out my shoulder. The energy is so intense I throw a temper tantrum to God.

Cut to a desperate phone call to the nearest chiropractic.

Apparently you can be younger than 30 and manage to get sciatica and a slipped disk, all from twisting and rolling – talk about a literal pain in the ass.

In addition to chiropractic and kinesiology, this doctor has an ‘alternative background.’ He mentions my incorrect alignment, gives me some exercises. He also mentions that my “second chakra is a bit overactive.”

If you know anything about chakras, you will know that the 2nd chakra is the energy center that pertains to interpersonal relationships, creativity, and sexuality.

“It seems like you need to close your second chakra a bit.” The Dr. says.

“Close my second chakra?” I say back. “ I’m taking a vow of celibacy — how much more closed can it get!?”

He didn’t quite have an answer for me.

§828 · February 2, 2010 · Celibacy Vow, Over in Oakland · Tags: , , , · [Print]

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