Taking no prisoners. Including herself.


I come back from Vietnam, don’t write about being home in California, skip right over my trip to Manhattan and almost forget that I’m preparing to return to New Mexico. I’ve been too busy being here to remember to write about all the “theres.” It’s been so long, Not Keeping Score, that I almost forgot what you looked like.

[Scene: a fancy restaurant. Dim lighting. Sounds of wine glasses clinking can be heard. SHANNON, 28, sits at a table across from BLOG.]

SHANNON: (awkwardly) Hi.




SHANNON: Um, thanks for showing up tonight.

BLOG: I invited you.

SHANNON: Right. Right.

The two stare


BLOG: No, you look. I haven’t seen you in, what– like, a month? More? And it’s really making me–

SHANNON: (interrupts) A month? Oh, really, it’s only been like–

BLOG: (interrupts) Trust me, it’s been over a month. I’ve been counting. Your last post was March 16. It’s now May.

SHANNON: It’s not May.

BLOG: (rolls eyes) Shannon, it’s April 30. It’s May.

SHANNON: (looking to ceiling. Mumbling) That’s not being very “in the moment…”

BLOG: I can hear you, even when you mumble and look away, and the 30th of April is sufficiently close to May such that I can– (gets flustered) Jesus Christ! You are such a pain in the ass.

SHANNON: (smiles) And yet, you’ve been counting the days…

BLOG: (sighs) Can I just talk here? What I’m trying to say is you’ve been gone. A lot. And I know you’ve been busy with your “life path” or “Buddha studies” whatever the hell you’re calling things these days –

SHANNON: — practice. It’s called a practice –

BLOG: Your practice. Whatever. The point is you made a promise. And I believed you. I believed you. I supported you when you first started this thing, when you said you’d write daily, when you said you wanted to commit your life to writ–

SHANNON: (Talking over) Hey! Hey now. I am committed.

BLOG: –ing, when you lost everything! When you had nothing left but the word! I was there! I was true! (Calming) And I understood it when you just couldn’t write every day, or even every week. I understood. And when you’d jet off to other countries and would forget about me for weeks at a time, I’d understand. I’d be patient. I knew you’d be back. (Raises voice) But this is… this has… this has gone too far.

SHANNON: Ok, ok, keep your voice down. (Looks around, embarassed. Looks back at BLOG) Look. I’m sorry. Ok? I’m sorry. You want to know the truth? I’ve been… scared.

BLOG: Scared? Scared! Shannon, you’re always dealing with being scared of something. I mean, don’t you even have a project going The Year of No Fear?

SHANNON: Shhh! (Lowers voice, looks around) Yes. Yes, I know. Yes. That’s– that’s the point. I’m still scared sometimes. I’m… scared we don’t have anything in common anymore.

BLOG: I don’t get it.

SHANNON: Of course you don’t get it. You’re a blog. I’m a person, and I write you, and when I write you I have to keep a kind of… persona. A facade. I have to be… interesting. Funny. Insightful. Hell, I have to make sure to even be coherent. And lately…

BLOG: What?

SHANNON: Well, lately… I don’t know. I don’t… want to be.

BLOG: You don’t want to be what?

SHANNON: (Raising voice) All those things! (Realizes she was yelling, hunches down) All those things. Like: clever and stuff. I mean, when I write you, I am always, always aware, on at least some level, that my words are going to be read! And maybe only by a couple dozen people or so, but still — I know there’s an audience. Or, a potential audience. And that means… Well, I feel like it means, even on a subconscious level, that it has to be… interesting.

BLOG: Why? It’s just a blog. Nobody cares.

SHANNON: Sure, I know. Nobody probably cares, but still… like right now. Someone is reading this. And maybe they think it is boring.

BLOG: How do you know someone is reading this? Maybe no one is reading this?

SHANNON: No, no– someone is reading this. Right now, in order for it to exist, it is being read. Otherwise… trust me– someone is reading this right now.

BLOG: Uh… ok. I trust you.

SHANNON: Yeah, great. So, someone is reading this. And maybe they think it’s boring. Nothing has really happened, or been said, or– it just might be boring.

BLOG: You could make something happen.

SHANNON: Yeah, I guess I could but… that wouldn’t really solve the problem. (Pause) Wait, like what?

BLOG: Like…. make a chandelier fall and kill someone.

[At that moment, a loud crash is heard. A woman screams. A WAITER and MAITRE'DE enter, running. A man is lying on the floor, unconscious, broken glass everywhere. The MAITRE'DE checks the man's pulse]

MAITRE’DE: Iz zere uh docktor in zee house? I sink ziss man iz in zerious trouble!

[A DOCTOR stands up from one of the dining tables]

DOCTOR: I’m a doctor!

MAITRE’DE: Oh, pleez! Zave ‘im! Iz bad publizity to ‘ave uh dess in zee restaurant!

[The DOCTOR rushes over. Feels the man's pulse. Shakes his head]

DOCTOR: He’s…. gone.

[A woman's sobs are overheard. SHANNON turns around to face BLOG]

SHANNON: Wow! You’re right! That was fun!

BLOG: See! And you thought I was so Web 2.0

SHANNON: I know! I see! I get it! You are not just an internet distraction. You’re so totally Zen Master, too! That was, like, a great meditation! I totally lost myself in this whole script and didn’t once need to worry or be afraid about what other’s thought! I was just — present. (Nods head) And I just… wrote.

BLOG: (Nods head to match) Totallz.

SHANNON: Thanks, Blog! I started off writing you tonight not knowing what would happen, having no preconceived ideas about what the hell I’d write. I just… knew I needed to see you. To write. Like old times.

BLOG: Like old times. (They high-five) See, Shannon — you can change and grow, and explore letting go of this facade, and you can still kick it with your old pal Not Keeping Score. I can evolve with you. No expectations, no obligations. You are free.

SHANNON: I am, aren’t I? Say — were you really mad at me when you invited me here tonight, or did you know all along that I just needed this time off in order to come back to this point and write this post I’m now writing? You knew this was the way it was meant to happen, didn’t you? (Nods head) Right on, Bloggo…

BLOG: Write on, Shan. Write on…

§573 · April 30, 2009 · Narrative · Tags: , , , , , , · [Print]

3 Comments to “Conversation with Blog”

  1. Emanuel says:

    I read it! Have fun in New Mexico!

  2. gigi says:

    Yay! You’re back in action! (both you and blog)

  3. Kate says:


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