NOT KEEPING SCORE

At a writing seminar I went to, on the topic of publication, one of the speakers commented:

“It takes the average writer 300 rejection letters before publishing something. It’s a numbers game. So consider every rejection one step closer to success. How can you be successful if you don’t put yourself out there? You have to get used to liking rejection.”

* * *

At this very moment, I have “Ce-le-brate good times, Come-on!” playing in my head — can you hear it? Can you hear it?

(Or, maybe I should be playing the theme song from Rocky?)

That’s because I got my ass kicked last night. And I’m not talkin’ metaphorically here. Nor verbally. I’m talkin’ literally kicked — and not just my ass: I have a nice shiner right under my fat, swollen chin; my hand is bruised from where I fisted my opponent’s face; my left rib has seen better days; and the inside of my tongue feels like a serrated banana slug.

I was drinking bourbon with a very good/old friend of mine (who’s male, more than twice my size, and knows how to kung fu kick, apparently, like there’s no tomorrow) and the next moment I was spitting blood. I suppose that’s all that needs to be said.

Except that’s not all: We boxed for 20 minutes, no mercy, I came out needing an ice pack and aspirin. But I had a blast.

* * *

Weeks before this, I came to realize the boy I’ve ostensibly had feelings for, for over a year, who I thought was always just too busy, too scared, too new, too unsure, too unready, actually just… doesn’t like me enough, and probably never will.

…And I think I’m stoked. Rejection actually felt freeing; I found this thing called “reciprocity” feels much nicer.

* * *

And so, I’ve also just received my first rejection letter for a book review I sent out for publication. After not hearing back for months, I finally got the “Thanks, No Thanks” email. I sat there for a moment, staring at my screen, not sure what to make of it. My review was well-written; I had worked hard on it — fuck, I even knew the Managing Editor of the magazine.

As I’m making some changes in my life, Life is turing around and reminding me that good-bye’s are a two-way street, and one has to be ready to keep a “stiff upper lip” when it comes to rejection. And in fact, maybe even cause for celebration…

I printed the rejection letter out and pinned it on my wall. Then I wrote “Rejected!” with a big red smiley face on it. Only 299 to go I thought.