The sun is rising but I can’t see it. The clouds cover the head like a sock. Socked in. Cloud cover. I am drinking green tea and thinking about life. I’m quiet and enjoying it. I’m alone. I’ve been alone for a lot of time lately. J is working so much, and now out of […]
I see that you un-like what I just said / or did / or am. But frankly, darling, I do not (and cannot) give a damn And by that I simply mean no more than that my raging soul so large with ruthless loving swallows all Un-liking whole.
¶ Things,
deep things, things down below my walking foot that ne’er before awaken did, are waking. Wiping soot out from my eyes, blacker-wetter – Don’t know why – those lies unleashing – . (Unleashed they fly!) And though they rip me at the Eye at least my Mind’s revealed, (O blackest light, O lightest black, I […]
Q: Dear Universe,
Hey, it’s me again. Gray. Yeah, um, so if everything is being done, how do I look? What practice do I do?
Thanks,
Gray
A: Dear Dear One,
What’s practice? A-ha ha ha! Just do that.
Hope that helps,
God
When a bird flies, it flies. It flies and it’s gone. Maybe it comes back, but not this bird. Not this bird that I’m watching. She flies, and flies hard. A whisper of her wing and she’s off—corrupt off the branch and not willing to investigate freedom. She does not investigate, she steals. She steals […]
It’s been almost a decade now since I graduated from college and embarked (defaulted?) on the world of being a working adult–if I may draw such an arbitrary line of when adult-ness begins. I was graduating with a degree in Linguistics, not knowing what the heck I was going to do with it. Rather, I […]
¶ London
We’ve barely left the hotel, so I don’t have much to show for my time yet in London. It is very very cold and rainy in London right now, so K. and I have been bundled up. But we braved the weather and went for a long walk yesterday around Paddington area until we found […]
* and you know what? things are different now. remember, that. change is all there is. and before a saddness to let go, now a relief, a relief, in what’s to come, a relief, that another issuance will pull forth into the station and everything you thought so permanently locked, will slide smoothly away and […]
Juicy! Lucious! Silence! Goddam, I love writing before dawn! * It hurts so drudgingly to get out of bed, that deep chasm of exhaustion reopened, pit-fulls of despair and fatigue. The modern morning. Resolute to dissolve it, I steal Jeudi back into bed, pacify her inconvenience with head scratchings, and rest gently back, allowing my […]
I keep composing in my head and then I sit down to write and I realize I have more gunk in my mind and fingers so I have to run the faucet. Freewrite. It’s taken me a really long time to settle in, sink down, come back. My god, I just don’t know how I’m […]
oh. my. god. ; oh my god I am so bored over here in california is a slow death with slow monotonous poisoning of days no one inspires everyday leaves me wanting there is no more magic what happened to possibility and powdered sugar it’s a sick kind of hypnotism that is going to lull […]
[Written 11/2010] Dear Kate, You go. You went. You left. All everyone has left (hyperbole). So, in your pose and out of your yoga you sought and found something which you know not but know yes that you needed. This is good. Perhaps you came also to not only grow your own chair pose, but […]
There’s a moment in every person’s life where they dream, and they dream hard. And a certain percentage of the time, the person may let herself pursue her dream. And of those times, it may be the case that this person accomplishes her dream. And it could happen that once achieving her goal, her dream, […]
Currently working on Self-ish, my new solo show. In research gathering phase. Wanna participate? Click here to let me know who are you and how do you know? A little blurb about the still-being-created show to whet your appetite: In order to become a superhero, X first needs an identity: “Superman can’t be Superman without […]
There is an inner silence that begins to take shape, sometimes, in the thicker corners of me. It is a blackness that spreads, but a blackness that is bereft of meaning or skill. It is not cold. It is not warm. It is heaven, and spreading. It takes over when I am lucid, when the […]
Wahoo! I am alive and this whole blog has become a burial ground for freewrites. Oh, my dearest Not Keeping Score, how faithful you have been with your gleaming pixels and pages. We’ve been through a lot, haven’t we? Writing until 3am in the Tenderloin, prancing around San Francisco like some lithe pixie, meditational word-dumps […]
A little late, but better than never, no? Updated my year-in-review page to include my 2010 video letter. Enjoy.
(It is Valentine’s day. It is also my brother’s birthday, who passed away 3 years ago.) Dear C-