NOT KEEPING SCORE

Christopher David DeJong
Feb. 14, 1976 - Nov. 20, 2007
It’s been a long year since you left us, yet the loss is still fresh. Slowly the pain lessens and is replaced with memory, but the “missing” will always be there.
Let us miss you without selfishness, without desperation, but only with love.
You will always be a […]

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Yesterday was the 5 year anniversary of the death of my best friend Jamie. My friend Jill, who grew up with Jamie and I, called me:
“Just wanted to talk to you to remember how, 5 years ago exactly, we experienced one of the worst days of our lives.”
Actually, she said “one of the top 3 […]

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Oh, who am I kidding-
There is no Robot-Lego FlashDance going on — I don’t even own legos.

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As a follow-up to my last post about Mother’s Day, I am posting this link to an article, The Dark Side of Mother’s Day, written by a woman I know, Cynthia Tuttelman.
I am not a mother, but I have one; and seeing what she’s had to go through after the death of her child, I […]

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Mother’s Day was emotional but uplifting; energy around the household has been a little tense as Mom, Pop and I realize that grief comes in colors outside a hue of blue. There is also anger, fear, loneliness, and some other disorienting shade of grey that sort of lingers around your eyes when you first wake […]

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I know we’re in the middle of a fashion experiment, but I have to interrupt the Project Muu-Muu and switch gears to a post for Unthinkable Loss — an account of my experience with the sudden loss of my brother.
Throughout this process I am perpetually amazed at the mercurial nature of emotion, and how much turbulence […]

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It’s been a little over 4 months since my brother’s passing. This is an interesting time, when the death is now very real but still freshly affects my life. I find myself mistaking my relative “okayness” with my “being done grieving” when, I’ll never be done grieving.
Life is in full swing now: Mom and Dad […]

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I was taking the #72 Golden Gate Transit bus home from San Francisco, when my phone rang.
I typically shun people who pick up phone calls on long-distance public transit, but it was my sister-in-law; since my brother passed, I am keen to pick up calls from family, regardless of whom I piss off.
“Do […]

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Yesterday was the three month anniversary of my brother’s death — well, actually the three month anniversary of the day I found him. The police said it was likely he was lying there for a day or two.
Let’s just take a minute with that.
There are so many emotions that come up at this point in […]

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I miss my brother.
…I thought I had more to write than that… But I guess I don’t.

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