Taking no prisoners. Including herself.

inside out

walking around and around that damn labyrinth yesterday
it took all I had to click off my brain and just listen
but I did, for interspersed moments, I did
for pure seconds
hear the water slipping over edges of the chalky plaster fountain, trickle
down and then mix with that car horn over there and
the clacking shimmy of birch leaves,
a woman’s cough;
the roses’ white petals screaming to be adored -
and then I was back into it again, plunging headlong into the
drenching play of the mind, a cycle back and forth folding
in on itself like bread dough
like intestines
like the looping circles I was walking
the sharp turns most painful (I like best
long stretches of nothing no change just a forward motion destination-less )

and in my mind
I put my hands to the walls of life and pushed back, but softly
so my wrists at right angles and my palms
just rested with quiet resistance against its sides,
like rubber, certainly with dimension but pliable,
and outside of my mind
I put my hands to my sides and let
in another one of those suspended moments –
or rather, it let me in –
where I swear I could feel the wind turn warm,
swear I could feel its breath against my forearms,
skimming bare skin, ladle and milk,
and it felt just like when I curled up in bed under covers
thick and heavy enough,
not pressing down too hard but with just the right weight to
let me know I was real and not falling

so the feeling of hiding from the world is the same as turning completely inside out

§209 · June 17, 2006 · Poetry · · [Print]

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