NOT KEEPING SCORE

Heading to Mendo to have a night off with Tha Gurlz (yes, I actually just spelled “girls” with a ‘z’) and then coming back in time to attend a real live Ho-Down (hot doggie: we have hay bales, a barn, and a live band) for New Year’s in my grand hometown of Penngrove.
In the meantime, […]

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I’ve been having the wish to just go and get away from my skin, my head, my life for the past couple of days — to get out with friends, and pretend like things are “normal.”
My wish was granted when a very dear friend and ex-roomie, “Foote”, now living in Brooklyn, said she was in […]

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Wrapped in grief is the gift of joy.
– Nell Tomassen Reboh
My sister-in-law, C., and her brother came over for Christmas brunch, and card games, and Dance Dance Revolution. We even opened a few presents. C.’s brother, who lives in Japan, gave to me a stacking bento box with glittery butterflies on it. I adore it.
It […]

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Instead of doing more Christmas shopping, or wrapping presents, my friend Whit invited me on another beach hike to Bodega; so much better.
It was sunset on the lowest tide of the year — sun sunk west beyond naked seaweed beds; 5 minutes later a blossoming full moon peered over the Eastern cliffs.
We explored smooth […]

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So many wonderful things happen in a day.
I take a nice long walk; I am fluid. I stretch, I work, I buy a new book (or 20). I feel the soft rub of a scarf as I wind it around my neck; I am warm. I drink fresh, gritty, strong dandelion tea in a ceramic […]

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Because I’m just too tired to write anything new, I’m posting my speech from my brother’s Celebration of Life ceremony.
Each of us has a spark of life inside us, and our highest endeavor ought to be to set off that spark in one another. –Kenny Ausubel
There will always be the past to miss.
the headpats […]

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We had Chris’ memorial yesterday. It was an amazing tribute to an amazing man, my brother.
It was also one of the most exhausting days of my life. My body hurts with fatigue; I woke up at 4am moaning. Not even a four hour nap today cured the aching that drips down my shoulders and […]

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Another strange week…
By the weekend, my stomach was feeling better, so I went back to yoga.
Got together for the first time with the extended family. We celebrated a few December birthdays, and talked about my brother’s memorial service.
Went on another long walk in Corte Madera and listened to how good it felt to walk, simply […]

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I went on a beautiful hike with my friends Whit and Leslie to the Tule Elk Reserve in Pt. Reyes.
Along the beach at sunset, low tide, there were two dead seals on the shore. One didn’t have a head.
As the tide drained back toward the ocean, pulling, carving, etching trees in the sand, thin […]

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