If you keep score, the score keeps you.
categories: Announcements, Poetry
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Shannon would like to timidly announce her first “poetry” reading this Thursday, where she will be reading all-original, highly-amateuristic, and ever-questionable poems from her stint in Penngrove.

But seriously, I’m excited to be reading with some local poets and friends I’ve made while living in sleepy Sonoma County. I’ve learned so much about humility, the importance of having the confidence to suck, and giving what deserves priority, priority.

And although I’m sure very few of you readers out there can make it to the reading (nor would/should you, in all honesty, want to) I want to the thank you for your readership, your comments, and your support; Not Keeping Score was started as a project to get this young woman to write, regardless of topic, genre, (or quality) — and continued to write she has.

For better or worse.

category: This Modern Life
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Heading into my last week before I fly to Vietnam, the nerves were rising: so many things to do before take off! Complete poems for an upcoming poetry reading, finish working on Grandpa’s memoir, get travel visas, get new health insurance, buy gifts for Vietnamese host, pay off credit card (to make room for new debt!), put up a freelance website, make business cards, lose 10lbs., pack bags for three months, kiss cat, learn Vietnamese…

And I then I got an email. It was someone from a branding agency inquiring about work. Do I have the bandwidth (read: time/sanity) for a new project? I started to get stressed.

“Uhhhh….” (I don’t like saying ‘no’ to work.) I was about to write back, No, I’m a little tied up right now… when I burst out laughing. At the bottom of the email, after a description of the job, it stated: The project is in Israel.

Well. You can imagine the scene: me. staring. email. work. Israel. palm. slapping forehead. typing back: okay, I’ll go.

Still laughing, I called my travel agent the next day and cancelled my ticket to Asia, told her I’d need to reroute.

category: San Francisco glory
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After grooving to Anoushka Shankar in Stern Grove, only the toughest few brave the fierce wind and sandblasts at Ocean Beach for a Sunday afternoon BBQ …nothing more painful than sand in one’s beer ( -Oh, sweet Redhook! -the horror! )

What’s that? Someone forgot the meat? And knives? No utensils: no problem. Us vegetarians are fiercer than we look.

category: Location-Location
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I take a moment with the sea.

A fisherman on the rock is pulling a string in and out of the water like a yo-yo.

I hear him vibrate in his every movement, everyallthings become one. And there the fisherman is – sitting on himself, pulling himself in and out of the water, catching himself that swims in me.

category: Location-Location
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More Stories from Turkey

The first night at Yuva we sat around a small campfire built in the dirt. A., our host, had wrapped potatoes in foil and threw them in the fire for cooking. Moments later, something small and crawling from out of the ground attacks the fire, spins away, paniced behind one of the stumps we’re sitting on.

“What was that?” someone asks. A. grapples with his unsteady English, trying to explain. “Is like, we call ‘akrep’. Dey like the tumors,” he says, pointing to the roasting foil treats.

“It looked like a giant potato bug,” I offer. “It had the same abdomen. Do you have potato bugs in Turkey, A.?”

“What dis, ‘potato bug’? Like dese, but bug?” He points to one of the potatos. “Maybe dis what you call akrep. I don’t know how you say.”

I turn to the Americans. “That’s funny – a Turkish potato bug after the potatos! Come here little guy, where’d you go?” I turn around and began searching for the creature I had seen emerge from the embers.

“Shannon, be careful… you don’t actually know what it is,” my mom says cautiously.

“Ah, come on — it’s a potato bug. I saw it in the firelight: it’s got that big abdomen and the creepy head and twiggy legs and…”

C., the British fiancé of Atilla, approaches as I’m hunched over the stump under which I last saw the bugger. “What are you looking at?” she inquires.

“This huge bug we saw. I think it’s a potato bug: he’s got the same body, really light skin, and –”

Right then a large near-translucent creature crawls up the stump. In the glow of the fire he throbs with light. He is primordial.

“Oh my god!” Caroline shouts, and startles me away from the log. “That’s a yellow scorpian, Shannon. I wouldn’t get close.”

Upon hearing the word “scorpion” everyone moves as far away from the tainted stump as possible, except A. who smiles in recognition.

“Yes!” he laughs. “That is what I mean to say — you call akrep scorpian. He continues laughing and stroking the fire, rooting out our now-cooked potatoes.


Back from Turkey sun-sitting hotly                   drinking          tea along Petaluma river old                            ladies in straw hats and gray-haired men who’ve found second youth                  in bike riding         drinking coffee          (muscles are controlled passion)                           their mean lime spandex leotards bragging about the last sprint across Spring Hill. I: 26       “retired”      smile to spend morning                   drink lemon hibicus hovering over                          crisp pages Marcus Aurelius’ suggestions for Stoic living                         one    glove, bike shorts — back in, you know? special Specialized tshirt with back pocket Gu                           bobby socks                             those little shoes with knobs clunk clunk acoross the wooden deck punching                       more holes than history can handle do you know how fast i can pedal? i can pedal fast                              very very fast

categories: Narrative, Sonoma County Splendor
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Yesterday was my official One Month Until Departure to my next travel adventure: Vietnam and China. The countdown reminded me of what a nice time in my life this is — being home, time to pursue personal projects, friends and family close by, and the joy of being in the Sonoma County for the quiet and slower pace it affords — and how I have to appreciate it while it’s here.

I keep telling myself “enjoy the moment” before I go away again. Simple things have felt deeply important: coffee with friend, evening walks around the neighborhood, breakfast with my mom, morning tea with my cat, hours of personal writing time — little things that remind me: this is home, now.

It reminds me that a deadline shouldn’t be necessary to feel this kind of appreciation.

* * *

I had dinner with my friend J. the other night. She has spent the last 8 months traveling through India and Asia. Change was apparent: Her hair was blonde and stylishly cut, she had many stories to tell, and she looked softer and happy. Even the cadence was different when she spoke, more knowing, and when I pointed this out she responded, “well, I feel different!”

After dinner we went for a walk around Sebastopol. She began to speak of this evolution. As she touched on theme after theme of what she had learned while abroad, I couldn’t help but smile and realize that these same themes had woven themselves through my past half-a-year as well: balance, finding a healthy pace of life, the courage to deviate from plans, acceptance of self As Is.

And in fact, how no matter where you go or are, how readily those lessons seem to pop up in anyone’s life who’s looking for them.

With gratitude infusing her breath, she said, “I’d have never learned these things had I not traveled; I learned all this because I left home.”

I smiled at her, and nodded quietly, knowing that I learned all this because I’d returned.

category: Location-Location
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Pictures from Turkey successfully uploaded. If you are so inclined to sort through 300 pictures of yoga to find some that actually capture the sights of the country, click here.

category: Location-Location
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…with a Turk. He’s smart, does yoga, and is incredibly handsome. Now I just have to wait 12 years until he’s legal.

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category: Location-Location
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After the two hour yoga class and a hearty Turkish breakfast, many gather around the water to read, slip into the cool waters and glide along with the gentle ocean current; or nap under the slumping pines, hammock-set, to avoid the midday heat.

One student, however, lingers around the burlwood table, slowly going over the contents of her plate and reciting as best she can remember, Turkish names for each: egg, tomato, cucumber, cheese. Over and over, she repeats:

“yumurta, domates, salatalı, peynir… yumurta, domates, salatalı, peynir…”

All morning she had felt like a 4-year-old, verbally nipping at the Turkish speakers. Pointing at various objects, and with ears perked and ready for an answer, she’d ask: “How do you say this in Türçe? And this?” Her left finger flitting like a bird from item to item, her right hand busy scribbling in her notebook. “This? Tekrar söyler misiniz? (Can you repeat that?)”

By the end of breakfast she only had a list of a few words. She couldn’t write most down fast enough; and her experts seemed more interested in eating Tahini-covered watermelon than telling her how to spell “Allahısmarladık ögretmen.”

And so she now sits alone, resigned to rolling again and again across her tongue the round qualities of yumurta, domates, salatalı, peynir, yumurta-domates-salatalı-peynir, yumurtadomatessalatıpeynir.

Egg. Tomato. Cucumber… cheese. If only…

From behind the mosquito screen she hears a sweet murmuring, echoing her repetitions. She turns to look, and sees that the sounds come from Moustafa, who sits patiently coloring, with very rusty markers, the long slender ears of a bunny rabbit blue. He hums to himself as the dry pens make grooves in the paper.

The girl slowly lifts her small pad of paper removes her shoes, and enters the köşk. She kneels beside Moustafa and places her hands atop her lap. Moustafa looks up and smiles.

“Merhaba.” She says hello. He nods. She waits. He stops coloring, places the cap on the blue marker, and slowly slides it back into the plastic sleeve from which it came. He closes his coloring book, closes his eyes. He takes a deep breath in, deep breath out, and raises his eyes to her again.

He lifts the index finger of his right hand, and they begin.

It lands on the face of the coloring book, and he says, very deliberately, “kitap” — never taking his eyes of hers.

“What?” She looks at him questioningly. “I don’t — Bilmiyorum Türçe. (I don’t know Turkish). Do you want something?” Moustafa doesn’t move an inch. He continues to look right at her, raises his index finger two inches, still pointing downward, and brings it down again on top of the coloring pad.

“Kitap.”

The girl smiles, “kitap. Book.” She writes it down. “Ki-tap?” Moustafa nods and smiles.

The tutoring builds fury: rug, red, pen, ceiling, foot, hair, dog. The petite teacher recites item after item while she repeats, scribbles, confirms, and repeats again.

Then the student points to a color in the rug, asks “Ingelizce: brown. Br-own. What Türçe?”

Not sure to which color she points, Moustafa asks back, “kafe?” She nods, and says, “Evet, like coffee.”

“Kahverengi!” he shouts, satisfied. She dutifully records. He sees she’s misspelled is, corrects her, and closes his eyes, finalizing it.

Then they move on to animals. These seem to be Moustafa’s favorite words to teach, because there is nothing specifically to point to. To work around the language barrier, creativity is needed: he waves his hand at the student, and points, indicating she is to stand. She understands.

Charade-like, she stands in the center of the room, body-neutral. Then she says, “cow.” The teacher looks at her blankly. “Türçe, cow?” Her small teacher waves at her again, and so she spits out, “moo! moo!” and walks around, chewing invisible cud. The teacher explodes into giggles. She prances around the room moo-ing.

“Inek! Inek!” he says, pointing, and rolling on the floor. “In-eh-hek-ha-ha-ha!” She drops to the floor to record, while the giggles continue to fill the room.

The animal-charade-lessons continue. Then, just as quickly as they started, the teacher straightens his face, looks at her seriously, and opens up his coloring book. He pulls out a blue marker, and begins coloring without looking up at her.

She leaves the köşk quietly, thanking the 6-year-old boy with her lowered eyes.