Taking no prisoners. Including herself.

Real diary entries from yours truly. Age 12.

Dear Diary,

I’m tired of being tormented by this crush for Aaron. I feel like I like him more and more everyday, and nothing ever happens. So, I’ve decided to do something about it. Here goes. Introducing:
Operation Shannon Metamorphasis: A seven day plan to get Aaron Rosenblum to like me, and possibly think I’m the most beautiful creature on the planet, or at least at Petaluma Junior High.

The Purpose: get Aaron Rosenblum to like me
The Challenge: He doesn’t yet. That, and how is he ever going to like someone with glasses, braces, stringy hair, big ears, flat chested, and known as a little “wierd”?
The Strategy: make some changes in my looks, actions and reputation.
Background: What do we know about our subject?
1. Aaron is cool, but not too popular.
2. He isn’t a jock, but has a cool older brother
3. he’s kinda dark, probably likes girls who are kinda dark, too, but not too goth
4. He’s NOT in leadership or on the recycling commitee, so I can’t see him there, but he IS in my English class.
5. He also is into drama, which is good, because I’m into drama (sidenote: play together?)
6. He seems to be into Carley Rush. This could pose a problem, but when John asked him the other day if he liked Carley, he said they were “just good friends.”

The Plan:
Day 1: Glasses: Ask mom for contacts
Day 2: Braces: Make dentist appointment to get different color rubber bands
Day 3: Ears. can’t do much about. Make sure to always wear hair down.
Day 4: Hair. is ok for now, but try something different
Day 5: Chest. can’t do much about, maybe ask mom to help buy me a bra?
Day 6: Try to find an excuse to spend more time with him. (Tarot reading???)
Day 7: See if maybe Karuna will ask him if he could see himself liking me

Dear Diary,
Day One: Monday I feel good about this plan already. Today was easy. I asked my mom if I could make an appointment to get checked out for contacts. She said yes! I’ll have to deal with the glasses for now, but hopefully that will change soon. Idea: when you hang out remove your glasses?

Dear Diary,
Day Two: Tuesday I knew I had a dentist appointment today which is why I put the braces on day two. It was great. I mean, I still totally hate my braces but at least I had Dr. Nizibean change out my Turquoise and Orange color combination for just all grey. I know, I know, it still looks like a mouth full of braces, but at least it’s not as noticable. On a side note, audition results for “David + Lisa” came back, and I’m really bummed. Aaron of course got the role of David (because he’s a really good actor) but Jessica got the role of Lisa. I, of course, got cast in the dork-role where I have to be the shy girl in the loony bin. Sucks. Oh well, at least I get to play my flute on stage.

Dear Diary,
Day Three: Wednesday We had rehersal today, and I got to run lines with Aaron, which would have been good, because most of the time he’s on stage so I don’t get to hang out with him. But today was ears day, so before the end of school I taped my ears back so they wouldn’t stick out so much, and then when Aaron and I were running lines I had to pull my hair back so it would stay out of my face, and some of the tape must have come loose because Aaron was all like “is that tape behind your ear?” And I was like so embarassed I didn’t even know what to say, so I said “um, yeah, it is, all right? I have ears that stick out so I thought I’d tape them back.” He pulled the tape off and looked at me weird. “You shouldn’t do that” he said and the worst part was now that the tape was gone my ear stuck out again.

Dear Diary,
Day Four: Thursday. So I was totally embarassed AGAIN today but it ended up being all for the best, I guess. I usually do my hair in the wave on the front, you know, and spray it. And today Aaron came up to me and scrunched it in his hand and was like “ew, it’s all crunchy. Why do you do that with your hair? It’d be better just plain.” and so I was totally embarassed but at least now I know how he likes hair.

Dear Diary,
Day Five: Friday. I hate that I’m such a late bloomer. Alyssa has already gotten her period and I think Heather too and I feel so young! I was hanging out with them after school today and Heather asked Alyssa if she could have a “plug” [tampon] and I was all confused but pretended to not be, and Heather looked at me and said “oh, that’s right, Shannon wouldn’t have a use for those yet.” Fucking Heather. So I guess about my (flat) chest there is nothing I can do, but I asked mom and decided that I should at least be wearing a bra even if I don’t need one because I guess that little extra something between my skin and shirt is better than nothing. On a side note: today I was listening to Cranberries Zombie on my walkman and Aaron asked me what I was listening to. I told him and said the next song coming up was Bush and he said that was cool and I let him share my headphones and we rocked out it was so great.

Dear Diary,
Day Six: Monday. Okay, so of course I had the weekend and didn’t have a change to do anything or see Aaron, so I’m cutting to Monday because when I said a 7 day plan I meant 7 School Days. Anyway, Aaron said he really liked my plaid flannel and Doc Martins.

Dear Diary,
Day Seven: Today I asked Karuna to ask Aaron if he could maybe think about liking me. She said she didn’t want to, but she’d ask Carley to ask Aaron and I was like “no way!” but instead I got John to do it and he said that Aaron said “I was cool.” At first I was really bummed, but then I realized that Aaron is really cool and for him to think I’m cool is a start, you know? I’m going to keep trying. I’m thinking maybe 7 days just wasn’t long enough.

Epilogue – Operation Shannon Metamorphasis was not successful; I never did win over the heart of Aaron Rosenblum. I did, however, learn a valuable lesson is love: take no prisoners.

§142 · By · February 27, 2006 ·


6 Comments to “”

  1. Ryan says:

    Classic! Wish I could make your show. This killed me. Though I always thought the play was called “David and Lisa”. Maybe it’s not too late to track down Aaron and win his heart…?

  2. E says:

    Just precious. After reading it I regret not going. Next time we hang out bring a tarot deck and I’ll sit for a conciliatory reading.

  3. alia says:

    OH MY DEAR GOD… that was the most beautiful thing I’ve read… ever. I’m pissing myself. Ugly duckling to swan, eh? On a side note, when I was living in NY I saw Aaron playing strange experimental music (if you can call it that) in a punk dive downtown. One of the most random nights of my life.
    What would we be without those misplaced adolescent longings?
    I always placed my unattainable teenage longings onto men in their 20s, is it any wonder I married an old man!

  4. Lauren says:

    That was adorable. I found myself roaming around your blog this morning and ended up here. A good place to end up since I think David and Lisa is where we met back in the old PJHS days. Seems like a lifetime ago. Take care! Hope to see you back in Seattle this year!

  5. Amy says:

    I looked this up because I saw Lauren had just reviewed it and I absolutely love it. You were so prescise! Love the 90′s giveaway with the flannel and Doc Martens, I want more entries!

  6. Elizabeth says:

    Ever good. Ever classic. I’ve seen mortified twice and I still love seeing this on the page. My fave: Why do you do that with your hair? It’d be better just plain.” and so I was totally embarassed but at least now I know how he likes hair.

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