Today I did a little Sunday-improv action with Upright Citizens Brigade over at Pan Theater.
It’s funny how I enrolled in the Level I improv class back at the new year just to “keep myself from getting rusty” while I had to take a little performing hiatus while I started my new job in January — and have ended up taking six, now, improv classes and workshops, from traditional improv games to long form to Action Theater.
When it comes to “progress,” why is it always two steps forward, one step back? When they say “life is a dance,” I didn’t know it would be so tedious.
(And my inner dance partner has two left feet. How many times do I have to tell her to just feel the goddam rhythm before she stops stepping on my toes?)
…we have for far too long been undermining ourselves.
Yes, the world is full of beautiful, talented people. But we are beyond comparison.
We are at zero. Not one. Not negative one: zero.
Neutral. Incomparable. Singular. Is.
You are a beautiful, talented human being. I am a beautiful, talented human being. What are we waiting for?
I realized tonight HOW MUCH I judge myself. The world is tainted through my eyes. When will I throw off this oppressive delusion? There is absolutely No Thing standing in my way… Except for me.
Why do we hide our light? We must step bravely forward to do our service, to fulfill our duty–which is only to become what we are, to be our Is-ness– to ourselves, and then the world.
There is so much potential for greatness! No question. It is guaranteed. We have ten billion suns inside of us, and it’s mind boggling how we are able to fight that for so long…
Sometimes an entire lifetime.
I don’t want to fight anymore.
I just don’t understand what we’re waiting for. What I’m waiting for.
What are we to do, my Beloved, if we are not willing to undo everything for you?
I stumble, and I blunder, and I fail.
I could repeat this a thousand times.
But here, in this moment, I know that I am doing all that I can.
And all that I can do is understand that I can understand nothing, and trust-
The Railyard Performance Space in Santa Fe is confirmed for a production of my solo performance BURST the weekend of September 10th/11th! Venue and dates have changed! Sept 17/18 and 24/25 at the Santa Fe Performing Arts Center.
Also, got confirmation that I’ll be performing a condensed version of BURST and co-hosting an improv workshop as the “keynote speaker” at the Consumer Wellness Conference in ABQ September 29th/30th.
More info by and by.
Some great things are afoot: it looks like I might have an opportunity to bring my solo performance BURST back to the Land of Enchantment for a little more New Mexico magic.
I’ve been nominated to perform BURST as the keynote speaker at the only peer-run consumer wellness conference in ABQ. I should hear back on that by the end of the week — cross your fingers!
I’ll also be working and staying in Taos for about 3 weeks, and am looking into venues there and in Santa Fe as well. I figure I will throw possibilities out there and see what sticks.
New Mexico has always captivated me, and remains an incredibly pivotal place. Somehow, when I’m there, beautiful things emerge, productivity flowers, and my bones settle in a dusty calm.
An incredibly deep and grateful bow to those who are already making this happen!
Will keep you updated,
.s
Number one word to describe tonight: fun.
For such a flat-footed, sallow little three-letter word, it sure encapsulates the intoxication I experienced from 7:05pm-7:55pm. Fun. Fun, fun, fun. Fun! In the parlance of the Internet, let me capitalize to indicate increased volume: IT WAS FUCKING FUN. Read more…
So today I got pulled over by a cop. We both played out the scripted roles.
“Do you know why I pulled you over?”
“I do.”
“And why’s that?”
“I was going too fast.”
“Yes, yes you were. Are you heading home?”
“No, I’m on my way to my teacher’s performance.”
“And you’re in a hurry because you’re late?”
“Well, to be perfectly honest, I just got my period and– Read more…
Why is it that we get exactly what we need? How can it be that what we want most in the world is given? That that for which we have such longing, such deepest magnetic draw, is that which the universe wants for us? All is given, that is, with a little patience.
I am always amazed when I’m granted grace. I still have a long way to go to develop my faith and discipline to a level that even begins to come close to reflecting the blessings that I’ve been given. As if it’d never come! I am constantly bombarded by the Larger Picture pummeling me with gifts — I somehow seem to mistake it as abuse. Read more…
Showed up for an “extra” off-the-schedule class at Pan that our stand-in teacher D. offered to teach while A. is away in Ireland.
Only three showed, but what a class. Such learning. D. is really showing us some of the guts of improv, and how certain choices can yield different results. “Follow the fear!”
He instructs us to do the one thing the character doesn’t want to do; say the one thing that is hardest to say. That moves the action. That creates the tension of the scene.
We would do a scene over and over– “freeze!” D. calls out, and then asks us “what would be the most difficult thing to do right now? Great! Do THAT!”
Takes the scene somewhere completely new.
More and more I’m finding my stage craft to mimic any practice in life: be present. Trust. Embrace the fear or excitement. When in doubt, just say exactly what’s right in front of you. The juice lies in the difficulty.
Thanks, D. for the extra class. We are coming along.
Best class yet. Moving in spontaneous outbursts and combustion-ing skills, no thought (the mind was gone because I had to focus on the musicality, see?), her shrieking at EXACTLY THE RIGHT TIME when she turned around and interrupted me. Four people standing and swinging like doors on greasy hinges — “try contrasting the energy!” — and the flipping through like a rolodex of story.
Dreamscape was awesome. Starting with a hesitation was the most confident choice I could have Read more…
There is no stopping it. The light continues to bleed. It breaks open in an endless run, yoke to sun. There will only be more light. We are essentially alone.
Reaching up up up Read more…
Added my last four year’s of Year-in-Reviews / New Year Letters to its own dedicated page.
June 24, 2010 – Stream-of-consciousness Freewrite
What you had, and what you lost. Thunder only happens when it’s raining; players only love you when you’re playing. Women, they will come and they will go. When the rain washes you clean you’ll know.
Thanks, Stevie. I. and I do a soft breakup (like a restaurant’s soft opening, or a soft sell, or a soft roll-in), and my heart is Read more…
I’m going to be doing another Mortified performance in Berkeley. Come watch me mortify myself on stage as I read journal entries I wrote when I was 12 and tried to change my reputation — military style — in order to win over my crush.
Awesome beat-box crew also does amazing improv stuff during the show, as well as awesome dancing after.
WHEN: THIS FRIDAY 6/25
TIME: 8:00pm (Doors Open At 7)
WHERE: Shattuck Down Low (2284 Shattuck Ave, Berkeley, CA)
TIX: www.getmortified.com/live
COST: $15 Presale / $20 at door
MORE INFO: www.getmortified.com
Done, and done.
[updated, three seconds later:] Done waiting on other people when I can do it myself, done listening to other people when I know myself, and done expecting other people own my happiness when I am responsible to only myself.
I’m in Pheonix, fat-full of veggie fajitas and margaritas. Bloated and sore and ready for more. Yard-saled and spent, purging like lent. A deep whoozy, no floozy, no jacuzzi, but a doozy– 100* or higher, first-buyer, night-flyer, snooze-glider, all-nighter, crossed wires, deep sigher.
My dearest K. is shifting, and I’m shifting, too. My twin sister R. is a Rational(TM) Mastermind and I want her to soar. (K. and I are “Teachers(TM)” equal portion extrovert, intuitive, feeling– only judging a little less, a little more.)
Both of them have come into my life, I know, to show me myself (and, of course, to show me THEMselves, because what better pop than a friendship built of words and difference?)
We slinger and meld along, leaning here and lopsidedly there, but all lit diamonds from within. We each nothing but mirrors, a broadcasting of exactly the very light we want to shine. We are on our way.
It is coming. We will wait.
There are times, and then there are other times, where you wonder where you put those original times, where you were planning on thinking of future times.
I have set most of my FB privacy setting to “only I can see.” It makes me feel like I have a face that only shows up when I look in the mirror. A small part of me is paranoid that if I delete my account, I will cease to exist.