The sun is rising but I can’t see it. The clouds cover the head like a sock. Socked in. Cloud cover. I am drinking green tea and thinking about life. I’m quiet and enjoying it. I’m alone. I’ve been alone for a lot of time lately. J is working so much, and now out of […]
I see that you un-like what I just said / or did / or am. But frankly, darling, I do not (and cannot) give a damn And by that I simply mean no more than that my raging soul so large with ruthless loving swallows all Un-liking whole.
deep things, things down below my walking foot that ne’er before awaken did, are waking. Wiping soot out from my eyes, blacker-wetter – Don’t know why – those lies unleashing – . (Unleashed they fly!) And though they rip me at the Eye at least my Mind’s revealed, (O blackest light, O lightest black, I […]
I was invited to this blog hop by the delightful writer Julia Halprine Jackson, whose work I had the pleasure of performing at ActionFiction!. Blog hop is a virtual jaunt of writer’s writing about writing. Here goes: What am I working on? Staying sane. Keeping my voice honest and my pen moving. Being the best […]
Q: Dear Universe,
Hey, it’s me again. Gray. Yeah, um, so if everything is being done, how do I look? What practice do I do?
A: Dear Dear One,
What’s practice? A-ha ha ha! Just do that.
Hope that helps,
And when I walk down the street and the construction men turn their heads, I realize, they don’t fucking know the difference between a 23 and a 32 year old face. Not really. They just see WOMAN. Woman! Woman is power, fuck the hows and the what. WOMAN. I think I actually mean this. I went to Essex last night and soaked in the tub and there were just bodies, no lines or smoothness, all lines and all smoothness, and wrinkles and folds, too. And I just thought WOMAN. Woman’s hot. Woman is me. And woman is you.
I’m joining a group that’s going to do Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way in the new year. I have mixed feelings. * Every time I think of The Artist’s Way, I think of JT, the boy who classically broke my heart. He was working his way through the book when we were dating, trying to […]
If I had only 10 minutes left, this is what I would tell the world: This is it. This is the moment. Wait no longer. You are beautiful. You shine. The love that’s in your heart is the most powerful thing good you have ever seen, and when you wake up to that, and remember […]
When a bird flies, it flies. It flies and it’s gone. Maybe it comes back, but not this bird. Not this bird that I’m watching. She flies, and flies hard. A whisper of her wing and she’s off—corrupt off the branch and not willing to investigate freedom. She does not investigate, she steals. She steals […]
It’s been years, but long ago I remember what it felt like to believe in magic. No, let me describe that another way, it’s hard to, when you’re streamlining, flowing, brain-flowing, freewriting. Because the same old words bubble up to catch up, to catch you, your safety nets, your winge. Winge. Wings. But long ago […]
Something I recently learned about myself was that I like the corporate culture I like money I like feeling and I like that I am different I like I like I like. So – therefore, Listen. I have not calmed down the rush of everything in my ears yet. I am tense and high strung […]
It’s been almost a decade now since I graduated from college and embarked (defaulted?) on the world of being a working adult–if I may draw such an arbitrary line of when adult-ness begins. I was graduating with a degree in Linguistics, not knowing what the heck I was going to do with it. Rather, I […]
We’ve barely left the hotel, so I don’t have much to show for my time yet in London. It is very very cold and rainy in London right now, so K. and I have been bundled up. But we braved the weather and went for a long walk yesterday around Paddington area until we found […]
It’s been a long dry spell. I haven’t performed my own material in over a year. I haven’t written anything new save for journal entries and freewrites since 2010 (and even those have come only with friction). But today, it was time to embark upon new work. And for this, I am grateful. Water-after-the-desert kind […]
said Suzuki Roshi to Natalie Goldberg, on whether she could be both monk and writer. And my heart chooses instantly: writer! writer! artist! exclaimer of emotion into the material world! But then I realize even this profession has to fall away into the sea, and so I answer: neither. I’ll just be me. I feel […]
The sun will set on my life and finally I have the faith to know it ain’t over when it’s over- -there will be more consciousness god’s head will keep on watching (in black space. this dark seeing “only spirit,” he says – but I still have a clinging want, like a monkey to last […]
Here at home. I must not be a writer, because a writer would take more care. Here at home, writing. In the same room I learned fear. In the same room I first cried. In the same room I wrote empty promises. In the same room I, stories, born. I love this room. It is […]
* and you know what? things are different now. remember, that. change is all there is. and before a saddness to let go, now a relief, a relief, in what’s to come, a relief, that another issuance will pull forth into the station and everything you thought so permanently locked, will slide smoothly away and […]
Juicy! Lucious! Silence! Goddam, I love writing before dawn! * It hurts so drudgingly to get out of bed, that deep chasm of exhaustion reopened, pit-fulls of despair and fatigue. The modern morning. Resolute to dissolve it, I steal Jeudi back into bed, pacify her inconvenience with head scratchings, and rest gently back, allowing my […]